Why Risk is Worth It

September 2016

I really enjoy taking risks. It's just part of the blueprint I was born with. I am also a natural rebel. This means that I hate rules of any kind. Show me a rule of any type and I will want to smash it up and break it. On principle. As you can well imagine, this has gotten me into trouble at various times throughout my life.

I guess part of the reason that I like risk is because I am so familiar with it. I have spent my working life as an artist, in my case as an actor. Step out onto a stage, and no matter how many times before one has said those lines, almost anything can (and sometimes does) happen. As an actor, one is taught to embrace and welcome risk. The moment actors stop taking risks, is the moment that the performance becomes dull, listless and tired. So I suppose it is that risk to me, is the spice of life: some level of it is necessary in order to live a rich and colourful life. Think how boring and dull life would be, without it.

I think this is why I often have a problem with Health and Safety (H&S which I call Hell and Samey) which seems to want to eradicate risk from our lives altogether. You only have to say the words 'H&S' out loud to me, and I feel an instant rush of blood to my face and neck. My hackles are on 'alert' mode.

This seems to happen to me fairly often these days as I live in a care home, which is by definition, a very risk-averse and highly regulated environment.  There is a plethora of regulations and legislation that the home must comply with. That need not, however, necessarily include me. I must remember that I live with some people here who unfortunately cannot make decisions in their own best interest any longer. It is these vulnerable people that the rules and regulations are there to protect. Not me.

To give them their due, The management have always been sensitive to the fact that I am an intelligent woman with full capacity, who is strong-willed and has opinions of her own. Signing disclaimers, in order to protect the company, has become a way of life.

Around 5 years ago I jumped out of an aeroplane at 15,000 feet. This was in order to raise money for the Centre. It proved to be quite a worthwhile stunt, as I managed to raise several thousand pounds. Would I do it again? You betcha! I only wish I was able to jump out in my wheelchair. What a great photo that would make!  Not to mention some great publicity for the Centre. Especially now that I am a middle-aged woman in poor health and in a wheelchair: life has become  far too sedate and 'safe'. It needs messing up a bit.

There is usually a nugget of truth in an old axiom."Nothing ventured, nothing gained", is an old saying that this applies to. For if you make an attempt, you risk failure. However, if you do not even try then you will never know the untold riches that you may have won.

I know which I would prefer.

Warrior sisters

September 2016

My beloved little sister and I share something. We both have MS. She has been living with the diagnosis since the tender age of 19, whereas the bomb didn't drop on me until the age of 42.

But there the similarity ends. My sister says that whilst she got the skimmed milk variety, I ended up with the full fat version of the disease.  She has the relapsing-remitting form: I have the more aggressive primary progressive type.

Between us we have 50 years of experience in managing our MS symptoms and fatigue (34 years in her case, and 16 in mine). We have had to learn the art of working within our limitations, whilst still achieving our objectives and living a productive life.  The learning curve has not always been easy.  Many a time, we have been on the brink of doing something, only to be disappointed by a spell of illness at the last minute.  In my case, the symptoms are constant, but slowly and steadily worsen over time. No sooner have I adapted to certain capabilities, then the goal posts shift, and I have to start all over again with a reduced set of circumstances. In my sister's case, the only response that is effective during a period of illness, is complete bed rest. Literally to stop everything and rest.  This is difficult for her as she has a young son to care for. Meals must be cooked, clothes must be washed and a child taken to school. Life does not stop because mummy is ill.

The area of parenting is the only one where I have sometimes felt a sense of envy towards my sister, given our different illnesses. Whereas she has been able to stay at home and parent her child as she thinks fit, unfortunately I have not. I have had to leave my home and live in a care home, and watch ruefully from the sidelines, as their father makes repeated mistakes.

There are upsides though, to this situation. I get to enjoy their company without having to police their lives as a parent normally would.

Warrior women are my favourite kind of chick.  I am extremely fortunate that both my sister and my daughter are this kind of woman. Gutsy, feisty and not afraid to fight for what she believes in, yet only punishing the guilty, never the innocent. It would be difficult to put into words how much I love, admire and respect them both.

I am very fortunate to have them in my life.

MS Cannot Kill My Creativity

It is true to say that I have not touched this blog in a long time. This is in part because everything has become more challenging for me as my MS progresses. However, MS cannot kill my creativity Yes, it makes it more difficult for me to express it. But it is part of me. Somehow or other it will be expressed by hook or by crook. Unfortunately and, sometimes it is hard to use a mobile phone/tablet for writing. So the blog is likely to be less frequent in future. Less frequent, but perhaps better.

My creative juices have also been otherwise employed: I'll have written a Christmas panto-style entertainment for the nursing home where I live. I am hoping that this will be performed at Christmas parties. I will offer to direct, which would be enormous fun for me.

I have also been completely immersed in designing and creating a garden. The nursing home allocated me my own patch of garden within the communal grounds, and gave me permission to develop it as I wished. I used grant money from the MS. Society to fund the plants and hard landscaping materials.  Labour was provided in-house free of charge.
               

My intention was to create a Mediterranean gravel garden, suitable for a very dry and partially sunny plot. A maintenance free garden that would need no constant watering.

I also wanted to create a shady patio beneath a wild plum tree: a refuge from the harsh Summer sun, which my MS hates.

The garden has been really fantastic and has made my  summer. Best of all, it has been a great social space in which to lunch and spend time with friends and family.

One of the things I adore about gardens, is that they never stand still and are always changing. Already I am hatching plans for changes and improvements that I want to make next year. Gardens link past, present and future, melded together by the beauty of nature.  And they're great places to eat too!

Henrietta Whitsun-Jones